Why Won’t My Cat Leave Me Alone?

clingy cat
(Last Updated On: May 22, 2023)
Here’s some food for thought: you’re walking around your house and you have your little cat following you around, almost making you trip down the stairs while you’re holding your laundry basket. Or maybe it’s crying outside of your closed bedroom door whilst you’re trying to sleep. If any of these sound like scenarios you’ve experienced, your cat might be a bit clingy.
To some owners, these behaviors may seem adorable. But when do we actually say enough is enough? It’s important to understand that these demeanors may even affect the relationship and bond you and your cat share.
In this article, I’ll discuss the causes and consequences of such behaviors. I’ll even reveal some methods in which you could help change them.

Why are Such Behaviors Dangerous?

Many people say that when a kitten feels safe and protected from its earliest days, it will not develop dependent behaviors. Over-dependence can rub you the wrong way, but could also be dangerous for your pet.
According to research dating from as early as the 90s, depression is not an emotion experienced solely by humans. Cats and kittens can also become depressed for a variety of reasons (e.g. separation anxiety, changes in environment). This can also trigger illnesses. In some extreme cases, due to sadness, cats may also refuse to eat until their favorite human is near. Talk about making a statement!
So why does your cat always need you around?

8 Reasons Why Your Cat Won’t Leave You Alone

There is little to no scientific evidence suggesting there is a link between gender or breed and the inclination of a cat being dependent on its owner. This lack of evidence may be due to the fact that each cat is different, unique in its behavior, thus handling a situation or another in its own way.

Generally speaking, here are some reasons for which your cat might be needy:

They’re apprehensive or anxious

Your cat or kitten might have the tendency to feel dependent on you because they feel defenseless. They might view you as the one needed to keep them safe. This may also relate to domestication, and your cat seeing you as the comfort, safety and food provider.

They’re uncertain or insecure

Cats rarely react the same, and you might find yourself being the proud owner of more than one cat. So when only one of them is actually clingy, what are you doing wrong?

It’s important to understand that any change in environment (e.g. moving house, buying new furniture, moving furniture around) can cause distress and can intimidate your cat. Just be patient and let your cat adapt to the visual and olfactory cues!


They’re a new addition to your family

If your cat is new to your environment, they may feel attached to you because you are a strong and confident ally! Until your cat gets used to the new surroundings, it might feel insecure without you.

They have mommy issues

Since humans experience similar feelings, it should come as no surprise that your cat might be suffering from this. The cruel reality is that many kittens are separated from their mothers far too early.  (4 week old) This can create fear of loss or separation anxiety. Remember, in their eyes, you are the new mommy!

7 month old cat

5 months old kittens


They were rescued

Rescued cats might develop clingy behaviors for obvious reasons. They might have lived difficult and trying times in the past. They might be fearful that they will be abandoned or even abused once more. Patience, love and guidance are key!

They have underlying health issues

A sudden change in behavior (e.g. dependence) could be triggered by a medical problem. Since you are the best judge of your cat’s usual behavior, tell your veterinarian of any issues which worry you.

Unintended reinforcements

Although it may be hard to hear, you may have reinforced certain needy behaviors (e.g. meowing, demanding food or attention) by petting or cuddling your cat. Moreover, if the reinforcement has happened often, your cat might view this as normal behavior which will get it attention and rewards.

Lack of prior guidance and training

At the opposite end of the stick, you might have adopted a cat which is already an adult, so certain behaviors are already ingrained. If you’re thinking that’s you, don’t worry. There are certain techniques which you will be able to enforce. You are the new mommy after all.

How to Train Your Cat or Kitten

How do you discipline your cat? The first step in remedying the problem is actually admitting there is a problem. Since you’re reading this, you’re already on the right track to making a positive change both in your life and your cat’s. That’s something to feel proud about!
But how can you actually change these behaviors? On the one hand, when leaving the house (e.g. work, shopping), try to not make a big fuss about it.
If you’re cuddling and kissing your cat before leaving and always being hesitant, you are encouraging and reinforcing those negative behaviors. Try rewarding attitudes you’re trying to strengthen. Remember, this won’t happen overnight, so be gentle, both with yourself and your cat.
Another common situation is when you’re trying to type on your computer. If this is a daily concern for you, take a couple of minutes and watch your cat as it approaches your laptop. As it gets close to jumping on you or the space where you’re working on, stop it by stomping your foot. Subsequently your cat will think twice before proceeding, giving you enough time to say “good” or “well done”, then giving it a nice treat.


It’s important to understand that your kitten or cat does not follow the rules society has gotten humans used to. It will not understand that you need your own space, or that you actually need to work in order to provide for yourself.


Cat’s eye watering

Patience is key, but sometimes even when following the advice listed above, your cat might still persist in its dependent behavior. You may be forced to consult your veterinarian so as to potentially choose an anti-anxiety medication. However this must always be a last resort!


  • Linda Bailey says:

    I had scheduled back surgery and while in the hospital it was discovered I also had a fractured hip. This extended my stay in the hospital and then onto rehab. I was gone for 5 weeks. A friend had been watching my cat for me during this time. When I returned home, he didn’t ignore me, but he was cautious in his approach. Now, 6 weeks later, he is still leary when I leave the house. Even in the mornings, he will wake me up, and then sit by the bed to make sure I do get up. He spends most of his days outside on the screened in porch (Florida), but he comes inside frequently to check to see where I am. I love him to pieces and I don’t want him to be afraid I will leave him again.

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